Monday, February 14, 2011


I once felt in the mood to bother looking up the phone number of the local Procrastinator's Club.  That was back when you still had to look through the Yellow Pages. By hand. It was a big yellow book. A book is an archaic object that once held leaflets made from wood and had actual alphabetic symbols permanently tattooed to it's real-life physical surface.  Hardware.

Anyway...I bothered to call them, because I felt like it.  Aaannnd, because I felt that I should be president of the organization, not just a plain ole' member.  I don't just put things off.  I put things away.  I was told on the phone that they wanted me to fill out a form.  My blood froze.  I hate forms.  More correctly... procrastination hates forms.   They are so...binding.  And every witch knows that it's not fun being under the control of a binding spell.  

So, the Procrastinator's Club sent me the form, (in a timely manner, no less), and I tried to fill it out.  I didn't make it past the first question.  I got the "name" and "address" part, but the first question was a killer.  It said: "Tell us why you believe you are a good candidate for membership in the Procrastinator's Club?"  How do you tell someone that?  How do you tell them that you now MUST put off giving them the answer to that question simply BECAUSE procrastination demands it?  It's not really something you can explain, but because they asked for it, they now need to get it.  Late.

I still have the form. I'm just waiting for the time when I feel like sending it back.  I know what the answer is now.  The only thing I will write for that question, is the date I decided to send it back.  That's why I'm the perfect candidate for the Procrastinator's Club.  They should make me their queen.   

The moral of this story is:  Stop delaying, you must look for community gardens in your area. Now. 

Don't keep putting it off, just a little planning will go a long way for you in the end.  Think about growing something you will actually use, wheather it's White Sage or Sweet Grass, you will get a lot of enjoyment out of it when you have prepared a little before-hand.  (Like a Boy prepared.  And go cheap, no use waisting money on garden tools if you're only going to give-up half-way through because you've decided you don't like getting your hands dirty.)

Look for websites on garden suppliers, there are tons.  No need to buy anything yet, you need to be realistic about what you can handle.  Those cute little plants start out small, but they get big real quick.  Even if you only had, say,  two each of ten different plants, you would soon become overwhelmed with produce.  Everyone should be so lucky.  But this is budget gardening, as well as focusing on medicinal herbs and their folklore. 

If you're hoping to do container gardening, stay tuned.  In the mean time, start collecting the used milk jugs or 2-liter soft-drink bottles that you hope to use.  But don't buy that nasty "potting soil" at the dollar stores. They are worthless.  Getting your plants off to a good start is worth the couple more bucks for a good potting soil. I've been there, the cheap stuff will not nourish your seedlings.

Remember:  Don't Delay. The damn Philadelphia Flower Show is in two weeks already! Time is short!  (Am I going?  Yes.  You bet.  They got a "girl's night out" special. Free wine tasting.  Hob-nobbing with master gardeners.  Or are they master wizards?  No matter, I'm there.)

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